Working with the Enneagram

Interview Part 2

Here is another excerpt from my interview with Claudio Garibaldi (the previous excerpt appeared February 8).

Claudio: You don’t talk about the wings in your work. Why?

Mario: This, too, is an issue of pragmatism. I believe that it is helpful to look at how all of the strategies manifest in our lives, to understand how each one may cause us to think or act maladaptively, to become more effective at using strategies that we under-use to our detriment. So, I am not opposed to exploring our wings (how the types or strategies on either side of us shape our personality type), but I find that it can cause confusion and, for my audience at least, the confusion outweighed the value.

When I first started teaching the Enneagram to clients, they would spend a lot of time worrying about what their wing was and what the wings of their coworkers are. It seemed to produce debate rather than understanding and clarity. Applying the Pareto Principle, that 80 % of one’s received benefit tends to come from 20% of one’s investments and that the other 80% of the investments provide a relatively low benefit, I simply felt that it was more valuable to focus on other issues rather than the wings.
    I also think that the wings are not as fixed as many people believe. In my experience, many people demonstrate flexibility and use both wings or have no discernible wing. In addition, the variation within type is much better explained by subtype, or which instinct is dominant in a person. As I’m sure you’ll recall, one of the things that initially drew us into conversation a couple of years ago was our independent conclusions that there is a correlation between subtype and wing identification. We independently discovered that there were patterns that could be tracked, and thus a redundancy of sorts with wing and subtype. For all of these reasons I simply find it easier to disregard the wings and focus on more beneficial elements of the model.

Claudio: Tell us about how you view the inner lines of the Enneagram.

Mario: I think there is great value and significance to the inner lines of the Enneagram, but my emphasis is a little different and I use different labels for the dynamics of the connecting points. First, I believe that we access both connecting points in adaptive and maladaptive ways. Other authors say the same things, but the connecting points are typically referred to as “directions of integration and disintegration” or “stress” and “security” points, which gives the impression of one direction being “good” and one being “bad.”
    When I first learned the Enneagram, the implication was it was maladaptive if I as an Eight demonstrated behaviors commonly associated with Type Five. Being somewhat of an introvert by nature who was interested in philosophy, art, literature, etc., this simply was not my experience of myself. I placed value on my ability to step back and be objective and thoughtful rather than seeing it as a sign of dysfunction. Likewise, I also noticed that I could demonstrate some maladaptive traits associated with Type Two, which really wasn’t accounted for in the literature at the time (though Sandra Maitri went on to describe this dynamic well in her first book). I could be jealous and needy and emotional in ways that Eights weren’t supposed to be. The common wisdom of the time, that one direction represented positive growth and the other represented dysfunction, simply didn’t ring true for me.
    As far as one’s growth and development are concerned, I think there is value in looking at the connecting points. Again, using the Pareto Principal, there is a hierarchy of dynamics to pay attention to with the Enneagram, a pattern of descending return on investment on one’s inner work. I, as an Eight, gain the most value from the Enneagram by looking at ways in which I maladaptively overdo striving to be powerful, the strategy found at point Eight. Next, I gain by looking at ways that I under-do or even resist the strategy found at point Two, striving to be connected. (Bob and I used the term “neglected” strategy for what is commonly called the “security point” or direction of integration in our book because it is helpful in our growth to pay attention to how we “neglect” the use of this strategy.) Third, I gain from observing how I maladaptively rely on the strategy of striving to be detached found at point Five to “support” my striving to be powerful.  (We referred to this as the “support strategy.”)
    There is still value in looking at the other six points and your relationship to those strategies, but you get the greatest benefit from observing your preferred strategy and the two you are connected to by the inner lines.

What Would Your Life Be Like Without Fear?

(This post was written by my business partner and co-author, Robert Tallon)

My client, Leonard, owns a medium sized-distribution company. I’ve been coaching him for about six months. He’s had a bad temper as long as he can remember, which he blames on others. “Some people just tick me off,” he told me recently, “especially when they don’t deliver.” He’s not been aware, until recently, that he has no clear expectations or work agreements with his employees. His people are always doomed to disappoint him because they can only guess at what he wants. Leonard is angry and agitated a lot.

            His realization that he doesn’t communicate clearly sparked a huge shift in his life. He became aware of how unaware he has been, both at work and at home. “You talk a lot about awareness,” he said to me as we walked through his warehouse one afternoon. “I’m seeing more and more that I act automatically, that I react to things the same way all the time. My wife tells me I’m a broken record, that I’m completely predictable. What’s behind the unawareness and my predictable, bad behavior?” he asked. “Why am I so unaware?”

            I was happy; Leonard was finally getting it.  I explained to him that there are different levels of awareness, and different levels and qualities of being on “autopilot.” Sometimes we go on autopilot out of habit, boredom, or even efficiency—say, when we need to multitask—to walk, chew gum, and think about what we’re going to say to the boss at the budget meeting. But there’s another autopilot that we fall into, the one that’s caused by fear. Here’s what I told Leonard: Practice being aware of how often you think about fear. Ask yourself throughout the day, “What am I afraid of?”

            Become aware of your thoughts about fear and your life will change. The fears may seem small at first, and you may not even consider them fears; like worrying about being embarrassed, or not being listened to, or appearing boring, or offending someone. There are bigger fears: losing your job, not making payroll, not being a good provider, or parent, or husband, or wife.

            Leonard began to see how his fears started with his thoughts. He thought it was lazy employees, or the economy, or competitors that caused his fear and angry reactions. But it’s never something “outside” that triggers fear. Life events are neutral. They have no meaning except the meaning we give them—what we think about them. It’s our thoughts that generate feelings. It’s our thoughts that cause fear.

            How do you react to fear? You create stories. You do it unconsciously. When you react to situations out of fear you’re like an animal—like a reptile, really—and you’re caught in a life of reaction: fight or flight. And just to make things clear, fight might mean being super pleasing as well as super powerful. The point is you’re reacting out of habit. Automatic pilot. Completely reactive. Awareness need not apply. 

            As long as your thoughts about fear remain unconscious, you’ll be unaware of how they fuel your stories. The strategy approach to the Enneagram teaches that there are nine strategies connected to nine fears. You have a fear, say of being unlovable, and you create a strategy, an unconscious way of overcoming the fear and feeling safe. Perhaps your strategy involves being close and connected to people, being helpful and nurturing to make people love you. You create stories to support the use of your strategy—why you must always be this way. Habits form, spontaneity and creativity disappear, and you’re living a life of unawareness and inertia. Nothing seems to change.

            Most people are unaware that the same old thoughts cause the same old fears, which create the same old stories. Leonard’s primary fear was around being dominated, hurt, or controlled. His strategy was to be powerful, to express his will, and to avoid weakness. The stories he created were about losing control, being dominated by others, and about his need to be powerful. His stories made his strategy make perfect sense, and his strategy seemed to make his fear go away, at least for a while.

            Thoughts about Leonard’s main competitor, Tri State Distribution, always sent a chill up his spine. The facts were: TriState was bigger, older, and regularly stole some of Leonard’s customers because they had better service and pricing. Leonard’s thoughts and fears were: “Someday TriState will steal all my customers and drive me out of business. I’ll be penniless and on the street.” His strategy was: “I’ve got to be powerful, all the time, in every situation.”  His stories sounded like: “If I’m not tough, people will goof off. I’ve got to whip my people into shape and show them who’s boss. That’s the only way I’ll survive.” Every time Leonard thought about TriState he felt powerless and afraid and acted automatically, predictably, and badly. That’s when he’d storm into the warehouse and scream at a forklift operator.       

            Fear makes you behave in a limited, habitual way. But without fear you’re free to be curious, creative, and spontaneous. This is the way you were as a child, like a jazz musician: improvising, creating and playing, beat-by-beat, moment-by-moment. Remember when you played cops and robbers, or “house,” or “hospital?” You were the scriptwriter, director, actor, and audience. You didn’t worry about the opinions of the critics, or having a flawless performance, or having a degree from the Actor’s Studio. You weren’t controlled by an old, static “story.” You were fearless. You were all action.

            Remember when the crayons came out? You weren’t afraid to create pictures with red grass or purple elephants. You weren’t concerned about an art degree from the Sorbonne. And sand castles? No degree in architecture required. No story needed. You were curious, industrious, absorbed, and lost in your creation. You would miss lunch if Dad didn’t drag you to it.

            Leonard’s work is about becoming aware of how his thoughts trigger the same old fears of losing control and being taken advantage of—how he unconsciously relies on being powerful as a strategy—and how he is trapped in the same stories: “Only the strong survive,” “It’s a jungle out there,” “You can’t trust anybody,” or one of a thousand other variations.      

            What would your life be without fear? It would be a life of curiosity, creativity, joy, and love. You’d be free, and you’d be fearless. And you wouldn’t need all your stories.

by Robert Tallon

 

Darwin and Lincoln

This is an entry that's a bit off topic, perhaps, but I can't resist.

As you probably already know, February 12, 2009 marks the 200^th anniversary of the births of two giants of the 19^th century, Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin. It is a wonderful coincidence that these men were born on the same day since they each changed the world in significant ways and their shared birthday gives us a moment to reflect on them together.

   They were born into very different circumstances—Lincoln famously in a Kentucky log cabin to a poor family; Darwin into a wealthy family on an English country estate—but they shared some significant characteristics.

    First: They fought to end slavery. Lincoln, of course, signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing slaves in the United States. Despite the later misappropriation of his ideas by some racists and eugenicists, Darwin was an ardent abolitionist and came from a long line of anti-slavery activists. Lincoln fought for the idea that all men were created equal; Darwin proved that all men were indeed brothers.

    Second: They were men of ideas. Lincoln fought—and died—for the idea that a nation of people with disparate interests could work together toward a common good. Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection was recently referred to by Scientific American magazine as the most important idea in all of science.

    Third: They were both remarkable writers who understood the importance of clear, rational thought and the ability of finely crafted words to reshape society. Lincoln ’s prose was both compact and soaring; deeply informed by Shakespeare, the Bible, and the writings of the Greek and Roman philosophers. At the same time, it was often marked by humor and the direct sensibility of his humble origins. Darwin wrote in a high Victorian style with meticulous attention to clarity and the steady, gentle unfolding of what he referred to as his “one long argument.”

     Anyone with an appreciation for language will find much to marvel at in their writings.

    

     To mark this day I would like to share a short piece by each of them.

     The scant 275 words of the Gettysburg Address are so precise and fluid that it is easy to take their implications for granted. It is best read with the understanding that, while these ideas are part of our national identity today, they were in much in doubt at the time. (I greatly recommend reading these words as they appear carved in marble at the Lincoln Memorial to truly appreciate them.)

     The final paragraph of Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species” beautifully summarizes the book and the final sentence, I believe, is the most significant single sentence ever written (excepting, of course, the First Amendment to the United States Constitution).

     I hope you’ll take a few moments to read and reflect on the passages below, and I hope you find even a portion of the delight in them that I do.

 

The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate -- we cannot consecrate -- we cannot hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

 

Final Paragraph of “On the Origin of Species” by Charles Darwin

It is interesting to contemplate an entangled bank, clothed with many plants of many kinds, with birds singing on the bushes, with various insects flitting about, and with worms crawling through the damp earth, and to reflect that these elaborately constructed forms, so different from each other, and dependent on each other in so complex a manner, have all been produced by laws acting around us. These laws, taken in the largest sense, being Growth with Reproduction; Inheritance which is almost implied by reproduction; Variability from the indirect and direct action of the external conditions of life, and from use and disuse; a Ratio of Increase so high as to lead to a Struggle for Life, and as a consequence to Natural Selection, entailing Divergence of Character and the Extinction of less-improved forms. Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved. [italics added]

Interview Excerpts (part 1)

I was recently interviewed by Italian Enneagram teacher Claudio Garibaldi. Claudio is arranging for me to do a workshop in Milan early this summer, and this interview will be translated into Italian and used to promote that program. This is the first part of the interview.

Claudio: Mario, I am asking you this interview for many different reasons. First of all you have written a very interesting book "Awareness to Action: The Enneagram , Emotional Intelligence, and Change: A Guide to Improving Performance," where you and Bob Tallon connect the Enneagram and Emotional Intelligence, which is going to be published in Italy in the near future. Next June you will hold a workshop in our Country, and I think this is going to be a great opportunity for all of us. Then you also have published many articles on Enneagram Monthly, where you show an original approach to instincts and strategies of the Enneagram. Moreover, you are a long time business consultant, and so, your contributions arise by working on the field with the Enneagram. Finally, you are at present a member of the IEA Board. Given these assumptions, I think you can have a wide perspective about the Enneagram world. Please, tell us something about you, and about the way you did get interested in the Enneagram theory.

Mario: Bob Tallon introduced me to the Enneagram in the early 1990s. He had been a member of the Diamond Heart work with A H Almaas and was doing some work with Don Riso and Russ Hudson at the time. I was a writer and editor, and eventually moved into the field of corporate communications, and despite an interest in spirituality in general and Zen Buddhism in particular, I wasn’t very interested in personality models. The ones I had come across seemed too general to me and to be of little value. But I had known Bob for 20 years at the time and respected him, and his enthusiasm for the Enneagram persuaded me to read the first edition of Don Riso’s book “Personality Types.” Riso’s book impressed me; I immediately saw myself as a Type Eight and could recognize the people in my life in Riso’s pages, which gave the Enneagram immediate face validity with me.
    I went on to read every other book on the Enneagram that I could find—Helen Palmer’s, Claudio Naranjo’s, Hurley and Donson’s, etc.—and despite the small differences in their ideas I was struck not only by the accuracy of the Enneagram but by its usefulness. I was able to put what I learned from these authors to work immediately in my own growth and in improving my relationships. When I went into the consulting world in 1997 it was obvious to me that the Enneagram would be an invaluable tool in my work as a coach and conducting team-building and leadership-development programs.


Claudio: What makes your approach to the Enneagram theory of personality different from the others?

Mario: There are two critical differences to my approach: the emphasis on the inner triangle of the Enneagram and the concept of “the strategies.” To give a better understanding of these ideas, let me explain how they came to be.
    One of the wonderful things about the Enneagram is that it is not a proprietary model such as the Myers-Briggs system. No one created an “official” model of the Enneagram or controls interpretation. People are free to interpret the Enneagram in the context of their environment and experience, to apply it to different areas in whatever creative ways they can imagine. This has led to the development of a variety of models and areas of emphasis. The downside to this, of course, is that there are some interpretations that lack rigor.
    I always tell my clients to exercise caution and critical thinking when reading about the Enneagram, to see if what they are reading makes sense and holds to be true in their lives. I especially encourage them to exercise critical thinking when they read my book and to challenge anything I say to them. This is a good habit for them to develop and it helps me to learn. Because my clients are business people, who are naturally rigorous, critical, and challenging, they are only too happy to let me know when they disagree!
    I never set out to become an “Enneagram theorist.” When I started using the Enneagram in my work I would give my clients one of the popular Enneagram books as a guide. While people generally responded well, it soon became clear that the existing literature was inadequate for the environment I was working in. Most of it was too psychological or too spiritual or too convoluted for the people I was trying to reach.  So I started to develop new material, to write articles, and—with Bob—start working on what would eventually become “Awareness to Action” out of necessity. It was an attempt to provide my clients with material that fit their needs.
    This environment has shaped my approach to the Enneagram. Despite many of the stereotypes one hears about business people (especially in the spiritual circles often associated with the Enneagram), I have found my business clients to be among the smartest people I have met. I find them to also be interested in anything that can help them be better people and improve their relationships, so they embrace the Enneagram eagerly. But it has to be clear, simple and precise or they will lose attention.
    Clear, simple, and precise does not mean “simplistic” or diluted, however. The goal that Bob and I set out in writing our book, back in about 2000-2001, was to make it simple but to capture the essence of the system. We were frustrated with many of the descriptions of the types because we felt that they relied on lists of traits rather than what was at the core. I had been reading Naranjo’s “Character and Neurosis” and was struck by a passing reference he made to the types as “adaptive strategies.” This seemed fundamental to me and we adopted the term. We decided that, for us, the core of type is what a person is “striving to be” as a means of addressing the circumstances of everyday life. Eights, for example, are “striving to be powerful” as their strategy for taking on life’s challenges; Fours, on the other hand, use the strategy of “striving to be unique.”
    The strategy is rooted in an emotional tone, the non-conscious mind’s way of feeling safe; this tone influences our thoughts, which in turn influence our actions. As an Eight, the deep part of my mind needs to feel powerful; therefore I think in patterns that help me feel that way, and then I behave in ways that are consistent with the way I think. The result of this interaction of emotion, thought, and behavior is what is referred to as Ennea-type.
    Our use of the inner triangle is unique as well. We use it as a metaphor for both the main psycho-spiritual challenge we face and the solution to that challenge. Other authors, such as Sandra Maitri and Naranjo, had used the inner triangle to describe the process of “going to sleep to ourselves.” We looked at it slightly differently and used the triangle as a metaphor for how we create a “story” about our world that becomes the confining and restrictive perspective we have on reality (we can address this idea further in a moment).
    Finally, we also turned the inner triangle into a model for how we can overcome or rewrite this story and open up to a broader, more-accurate view of reality, and to change our behavior accordingly so that we act in more healthy, adaptive ways.  We call this the Awareness to Action Process, and I really view this process as the cornerstone of my work. The creation of the story is a fundamental obstacle to clear vision, adaptability, efficacy, and contentment and the Awareness to Action Process is how we overcome that obstacle. The Enneagram of personality represents the various versions of the story and the “grist for the mill” for work on oneself.

International Enneagram Association

Due to travel, work commitments, and just needing a moment or two of downtime, I've fallen behind on my blog schedule. I was supposed to be writing about the Support Strategies, which I will do very soon, but today I wanted to say a few words about the International Enneagram Association (IEA).
    I've recently been asked to serve on the boards of directors of the IEA and the IEA's newly forming USA affiliate. My first board meeting for the IEA was about two weeks ago in Las Vegas and I left very impressed with the intelligence and commitment of the board  members (all of whom are volunteers) and with the direction the IEA is heading.
    People are drawn to the Enneagram for a variety of reasons: as part of a spiritual practice, from a desire for psychological growth, or for simple self-awareness that will benefit their work lives or relationships. People representing all of these interests are found within the IEA and sometimes these interests can be in tension with each other. The board did a great job of balancing these interests and ensuring that the IEA remain a "Big Tent" where people of different interests can come together to find common ground and purpose.
    I am also excited about the new accreditation program the IEA has initiated; though I'll admit that I was a little skeptical at first. My skepticism was based on my sense that accreditation held little value for me; I have never been "certified" by anyone to teach the Enneagram but I've felt that more than a decade of experience doing so in the corporate world and public arena are all the certification or accreditation I needed.
    However, I've come to the conclusion that, for the good of all who use the Enneagram in their work, some sort of self-policing mechanism is necessary for the Enneagram community and the IEA's accreditation process is a good start. Fortunately, the IEA will not try to police content--no pole of the "Big Tent" will be given prominence. Instead, the IEA will focus on ethics and professionalism. This will increase the benefit that people receive from studying the Enneagram by reducing the chances that they will fall victim to unethical practitioners.
    Further, I am excited about the steps the IEA is taking to becoming a truly global hub for knowledge about the Enneagram. It's emphasis on building international affiliates will bring together insights and wisdom from across the globe, and it's growing emphasis on being an aggregator of intellectual property is a step to becoming a world-class organization.
    If you are not currently a member of the IEA, I encourage you to go to www.internationalenneagram.org and become one today. If you use the Enneagram in your work, I greatly encourage you to become accredited.
Mario Sikora